The Gilded Margin

Brain Day| The Gilded Margin

I’ve been thinking about the phrase “girl’s girl” lately.

It’s everywhere. If you support women, you’re a girl’s girl. If you don’t support one woman, suddenly you’re not.

That feels… oversimplified.

I believe women should have equal opportunities, equal respect, and equal rights. I love seeing women succeed. I genuinely enjoy watching another woman get the promotion, start the business, write the book, or finally find her confidence.

But I’ve also met women who lied, gossiped, manipulated, and smiled to my face while rooting for me to fail.

Both things can be true.

Some of the kindest people I’ve met have been women. Some of the people who have hurt me the most have been women, too.

That’s life.

I don’t think having boundaries makes someone anti-woman. I don’t think refusing to be friends with someone who constantly creates drama means you’ve failed some unwritten sisterhood test.

To me, supporting women has never meant supporting every individual woman.

It means believing women deserve dignity simply because they’re human.

Trust is different.

Friendship is different.

Respect is given freely. Loyalty is earned.

I’ve never understood why we’re expected to ignore bad behavior just because it comes from another woman. If a man is manipulative, people call it out. If a woman is manipulative, sometimes we’re told to keep quiet because “girls support girls.”

No.

Supporting women shouldn’t require pretending we’re incapable of hurting each other.

Real support looks different. It looks like celebrating another woman’s success without jealousy. It looks like helping someone who needs it. It looks like encouraging young girls to dream bigger than they think they can.

It also looks like holding each other accountable.

Because accountability isn’t hate.

Boundaries aren’t betrayal.

Walking away from unhealthy relationships isn’t misogyny.

I’ve learned that I don’t have to dislike women to dislike someone’s behavior. I don’t have to become friends with every woman I meet to believe women deserve better.

Character has always mattered more to me than categories.

Maybe that’s what we’ve forgotten.

Maybe being a girl’s girl isn’t about defending every woman.

Maybe it’s about refusing to become the kind of woman who tears other women down in the first place.

And I think there’s a difference.