The Gilded Margin

Life Lately| Gilded Margin

I’ve been behind on Gilded Margin. At least, that’s what I’ve been telling myself.

I haven’t been posting as consistently. I’ve had half-finished ideas sitting around. I’ve taken pictures and never used them. I’ve thought, I need to write about that, and then immediately gotten distracted by something else that needed to happen.

But when I actually stopped and looked at the last several weeks, I realized something.

A lot has actually been happening.

So instead of trying to write some perfectly organized “life lately” update, I’m just going to tell you what’s been going on.

Life has gotten a little more complicated.

I’ve started seeing my ex-husband again.

That’s probably the part of this post I’ve debated writing the most.

I know there are people who will have opinions about it: good and bad. I know there are people who will think they understand the situation based on whatever they see from the outside.

They don’t.

And I’m okay with that.

There are parts of my life I want to share, and there are parts I don’t.

This is one of those things where I’m going to let it be what it is without feeling like I owe the internet a complete explanation.

For now, I’m just living it.

We’ve also had some big changes at home.

Marley is still deeply missed. It was so sudden to us even though signs were missed. We thought it was just signs of arthritis and old age. When I took him in his kidneys had slowly been failing him but we don’t know when it started.

If you’ve been following along, you already know that and the heartbreak in it.

The first anniversary of losing my grandparents has also come and gone, which was its own kind of strange. These deaths of my ancestors have caused generational shifting and that has been unsettling to think about for many of us still living.

What sucks more? Grief doesn’t necessarily announce itself. Sometimes it’s a date on the calendar. Sometimes it’s realizing you’re about to tell someone something and remembering you can’t. Sometimes it’s just a quiet moment where you miss somebody. Sometimes it is going to the garage to grab something and stopping in the silence to catch tears you didn’t know were coming.

And then, because life has a strange sense of timing, our family now has clownfish.

Yes… Clownfish. The sea salt fish kind of fish. Amongst the other salty fish my ex husband decided to add to the tank. He wanted to definitely be the cool dad on this one but it ended up being an all him kind of thing, which has been pleasantly making him happy. Who are we to ick what makes someone else happy? As long as it doesn’t hurt others of course.

This has just made me hyper aware that I apparently run a household where acquiring another animal is considered a perfectly reasonable Tuesday activity.

The animal report is… extensive.

Draco has parasites, so we’ve started treatment. We’re two doses into four, and he has made his opinion about the hospital tank extremely clear.

He HATES it.

Fortunately, I’ve seemed to make it up to him he with his new basking branch I got him, so at least I’ve got that going for me. He loves that thing! I’ve also already bought the new substrate and have bleached all of his old items so they are ready to go once he is cleared.

The tortoises got new plants— Rosemary and spider plants to be exact.

Zak has been much happier after getting his nails and beak trimmed which has been so awesome to see. Bacon has learned how to climb out of his enclosure and tour the house on several occasions so we are planning a lid build and have taken the cork sides out of the tank for now.

Bella and Sky continue to be spoiled.

Sky had a grooming appointment and came home looking absolutely fantastic—and, more importantly, feeling fantastic. She ran out of the groomer with the biggest dog smile. She even picked out her treat in the lobby while I was paying and ate it in the car.

She knew she looked good too. Just how I do after I get a new set of nails or exit the hair salon.

Sky has been going with my ex husband to pick up the kids from school on his days, while Draco gets to come with me on mine. So, apparently school pickup has become a rotating animal field trip. Bella takes the morning shift, Sky takes the afternoon and Draco goes on my days.

Disclaimer: I never said our household was normal.

The outdoor enclosure is finally coming together.

Slowly. It’s been so hot in the Texas summer that I’ve been moving by the centimeter on this project but I’m actually making progress.

I’ve finished the sanding. I’ve painted. I’ve put everything back together with the help of my mother. I wish I had recorded that because what a build it was together.  The mesh siding is on. Next up is reinforcing the siding with zip ties and finishing the roof.

Then I get to do the part I’ve been waiting for: designing the inside for the animals to use in the fall.

That is when it’s going to get fun.

I’m also looking at future renovations for Draco’s enclosure, Karate’s enclosure, and both tortoise enclosures.

And because I apparently can’t have one project at a time, I’m also looking into hydroponic gardening, carpentry projects and reorganizing and cleaning the garage. Since the library turned out so amazing I want to do amazing things to the rest of the house.

We’ll see where that all goes.

School is happening too.

I’m four weeks into my second semester of my doctorate program.

FOUR WEEKS.

Which is both “I’ve got this” and “How is it already week four?”

I’m still figuring out how to balance school with everything else, but I’m moving forward.

I’ve also been working on my photography skills and expanding on my latent print examination, which has been challenging.

There is something satisfying about realizing that you can actually see improvement when you keep practicing though. It keeps me motivated to keep going.

The biggest thing I’m struggling with currently is my speed without jeopardizing my quality and dark environments.

Work has been busy in a different way.

I’m in the middle of some major changes in my position, and I’m genuinely excited about what’s happening and a little anxious or unsettled as well.

I’m not able to talk about all of it yet. But I will if and when I can. When the time is right.

The TVFI project for our agency is also coming to a close, and honestly? Closing that chapter is going to feel really good.

Finishing a project that has occupied so much of your time and being able to finally look at it and say, “Okay. We did that and we did our best” is an amazing feeling.

I’m also heading into destruction and inventory months, so work isn’t exactly slowing down.

Apparently I enjoy picking the busiest possible time of year to have a life outside of work.

The kids are growing up whether I approve or not.

My daughter started a new extracurricular and is about to try a new sport to see if she likes it.

My son has found his first real sport that he actually likes. No more sitting in the field watching butterfly’s for that little guy. He’s found something he loves. Seeing his face light up has been such an amazing feeling.

Football season has officially started. If I don’t root for the Steelers I’ll be disowned. So I root for them to save the peace. I’m not huge into football but my family is so I contribute chips and dip while I mitigate children’s fighting and try to do homework or read a book.

And suddenly I’m looking at calendars and realizing that the kids have their own lives happening around us. Filled with events, hobby’s, birthday party’s and new things for them to try.

I love watching them find things that are theirs.

Even if it means the family schedule is getting significantly more complicated and the financials are being pulled tightly. I love seeing them fall in love with themselves and I’ll do what I need to do to help them in that journey.

There have been some very adult victories too.

I paid off a huge toll bill.

And I cannot adequately explain how good it felt to see that thing gone. Gone. Finished. Done.

I’m months away from paying down some old credit card debt. I’m not paying for daycare anymore which is like not having a second mortgage (even if the school has tuition it is still much cheaper). I also don’t have to see my brothers ex wife nearly as often which is another huge bonus to not attending the daycare. Having kids at different ages with my brother having 50/50 custody is the chefs kiss on that. I get to see my nephew so much more now and when your life is stripped of a certain kind of bully in it the universe allows you to heal better and faster it seems.

There are some victories that aren’t glamorous enough for social media but feel enormous in real life.

That was one of them.

I’ve also been trying to take better care of myself.

I’ve been dealing with some health issues.

I’ve been working on getting my diet and exercise routine back into a better place. Which lead to the purchase of a Garmin watch on a pretty decent Amazon sale. This has been so helpful in tracking so many things I’ve been interested in tracking. I like looking at data and understand this data is not full proof but I still find it helpful in my journey.

I’ve also been so congested lately that breathing has started feeling like a competitive sport. I’ve been pushing through the work days loaded up on antihistamines and non drowsy over the counters to get through the end of the year before vacations and holidays.

Not exactly my favorite part of the season changes.

Somewhere in the middle of completely hustling and completely slumming it, I got my hair done. I got my nails done (thanks to my ex husband who generously treated me). And I started feeling a little more like myself again.

It’s funny how sometimes something as simple as getting your hair and nails done can make you feel refreshed when you haven’t felt particularly refreshed.

I’m taking the wins where I can get them.

I’ve also been eating my way through some new places.

I’ve tried Lito’s in Garland and Thirsty Tiger near Nebraska Furniture Mart. Of course my diet is consisting of high protein, high veggies, low carbs, sugar free and caffeine free options. Both these places had amazing options for the healthy eaters and non-healthy eaters alike. I went back to Litos multiple times in one week for the Mediterranean sandwich with chicken and the chicken bowl. My ex husband already wants to go back to Thirsty Lion because he fell in love with the Wagyu Beef Burger.

And, of course, I’ve had my monthly Swig.

Except…

I have made a decision.

I’m cutting out soda.

Which means I unfortunately have to find a new favorite.

This may be harder than expected.

I have faith in myself.

Mostly.

It may be easier than it seems because I have been frequenting Tropical Smoothie a lot for the Detox Island Green in the mornings. I add blueberry and pea protein to mine. I also sometimes will eat the chia oatmeal bowl but not all the time because of the sugars in it.

CAVA is another go to favorite of mine because I love me a good Grains and Greens bowl. Chic Fil A is a good option for fast food eating with health in mind. 151 Coffee has grown on me. I used to go to Dutch Bros but I have started going to 151 more for the Cinnamon Dulce sugar free, decaf with oat milk add coconut. I have also been eating sushi where I can afford it and fajitas with extra veggies. Trying to be good. Fingers crossed.

And then there is Practical Magic.

Oh, I am still in love.

We saw Practical Magic 2 and I was absolutely not disappointed.

I love Sandra Bullock.

I love Nicole Kidman.

I loved the first movie enough to get a tattoo inspired by it.

And now I’m considering another tattoo.

Because apparently one wasn’t enough.

I’ve bought the margarita blender cups.

The cat cup for my daughter.

The margarita popcorn bowl.

The blanket.

I am fully committed at this point.

And I’ve started reading the books. They’re extremely different from the movies, which surprised me.

And somehow I still love both, which is rare.

Usually I’m the person who gets annoyed when the book and movie don’t line up.

But this time, I’m enjoying them as two completely different versions of something I already love.

And now I have a whole new reading list.

Naturally.

We’ve also planned a Practical Magic-themed painting day for next weekend. Just me and my mom on a girls kind of Saturday.

So the witchy fall era is officially happening.

We’ve been having some good family nights too.

We’ve played Bob’s Burgers Clue, the cheater version of Monopoly, murder mystery games, UNO, the Minions matching game, and Jenga.

We’ve watched old episodes of “Is It Cake?” Halloween Version.

We’ve watched old movies the kids love.

Nothing particularly groundbreaking.

Just family nights.

And I’m realizing those are probably the moments I’ll remember.

Fall is coming.

This is my favorite part.

I’ve started decorating.

We’re hosting Thanksgiving this year, which is a first for us.

And we have a Thanksgiving food theme. I’m not saying it’s normal. I’m not even saying it’s a good idea. But we’re doing hibachi. And we’re attempting to make our own sushi rolls.

Please wish us luck and comment somewhere, anywhere, for tips and tricks.

The internal theme for fall is still very much witchy, because obviously it is.

There will be movie nights. Hot cocoa bars. Orchard trips. Apple Cider. Pumpkin days. At least one museum. Probably entirely too many fall decorations. And hopefully a whole lot of really good memories.

And then there’s Japan.

The November Japan trip is no longer just something we are talking about.

The planning is well underway.

City planning is happening for upcoming events.

Travel details are happening.

December travel planning is happening too.

There are lists.

There are ideas.

There are probably more lists coming.

I’m excited. Very excited.

So… yeah.

Maybe I haven’t been posting as much as I wanted.

But I’ve been doing things.

Learning.

Working.

Studying.

Parenting.

Travel planning.

Taking care of animals.

Grieving.

Dating.

Creating.

Building.

Reading.

Crocheting a blanket I’ve literally had the yarn for for two years.

Working on photography.

Trying new restaurants.

Paying off bills.

Watching movies.

Playing games.

Decorating for fall.

Trying to take better care of myself.

And occasionally missing trash day, which was terrible.

I’ve been figuring out what comes next.

And maybe that’s why Gilded Margin has felt a little quiet.

I wasn’t out of things to say.

I was in the middle of them.

So this is me catching up.

Not with the algorithm.

Not with some imaginary content schedule.

With you.

Because apparently life lately has been a lot more interesting than I gave it credit for.